i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
