I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
