Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
A+ Viking dick
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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