He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
