OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
