Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
