i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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