My entire life is one complicated drinking game
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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