I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
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