3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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