I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Don't EVER smell your tampon
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
We need to get me chipped asap
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
