i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
a search helicopter?!
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
