Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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