living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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