i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
