She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
