Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
