but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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