I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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