i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize