Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
