I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
