I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
