On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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