yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
