Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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