You're completely useless in the revolution.
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
