There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
