i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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