I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
