Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
