awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
