My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
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