dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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