My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
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