when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Randomize
