it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
