god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
