We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
