I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
