We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
