Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
