nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
My ATM looks so different sober.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
