Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
