these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize