For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Randomize
