Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
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