Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
