Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
