question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
