i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
