I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
