don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
