I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
