we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
