don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
