I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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