TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
