So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
