This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
