So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
