you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Do you have feelings for this penis?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
