I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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