I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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