do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
