I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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