my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I need water and some morals
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
