I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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