Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
